Monday, May 16, 2011

My Ugly Little Secret (Yes, Another One)

I have something I need to admit to you today, boys and belles.  I sincerely hope that this information doesn’t cause you to shun me.  In reality, what I have to tell you won’t make me any different:  I’m still the caustic under-aged curmudgeon that I’ve always been.  Of course, I’m pretty sure you’ve already figured out my little secret seeing as I have a nasty habit of speaking my mind without performing the pesky chore of weighing my words first. we go...okay [sigh]...I am a Democrat.

Wait!  Wait!  Stop!  Please don’t burn your computer in effigy!  I was a Democrat when you read all of those other posts.  Again, nothing has changed. 

Believe me, it’s hard enough being a Democrat in the State of North Carolina.  There are only about five of us.  I married a Republican.  Almost all of my friends are Republican—and I don’t mean just a little bit Republican, either—they are flag waiving, dyed in the wool card carrying members of the Grand ol’ Party.  We don’t discuss politics.

Yep, you’re reading the ramblings of a former president of the Peace College Young Democrats (some would say that it was a very small group while I prefer to say that it was very exclusive) and a volunteer from the first Clinton for President Campaign.  I was so distraught at Jesse Helms’ defeat of Harvey Gantt in the 1990 North Carolina Senate Race that I rode around with a Gantt sticker on the back of my car for a year after the election in protest (my father finally took it off when I wasn’t looking because he was afraid that I was going to be attacked).

I try to keep to myself when it comes to politics.  It’s turning into such a hot button topic that it’s practically nuclear.  I know I’m not going to change anybody’s mind and they are hopefully un-masochistic enough to know that they aren’t going to change my mind.  I’m proud to say that I even manage to keep my mouth shut when my friends debate around me.  I sometimes wonder if they are trying to draw me out.  I swear I’ve seen a sly glance here and there, but I keep on my poker face—sometimes I even try to pretend that I’m not listening in spite of the fact that I’m about to bite my tongue in half.

I also make an admirable effort not to sway the budding beliefs of my children because I know that, if I ever caught Scott nudging them one way or the other, all hell would rain down on him.  I answer their questions as neutrally as I know how because—other than always wanting them to act with compassion—I really do believe that they need to make their own decisions about how they see the world.  Accordingly, I refrain from telling my Baby Belles that Dick Cheney eats little children and that George Bush imprisoned Santa Clause at Guantanamo while putting out a hit on the Easter Bunny.

Also, allow me to disabuse some misconceptions about Democrats that commonly occur.  A top ten, if you will:

1.      I do not hug trees.  I like trees plenty fine and shade is super, but I have no desire to dance nekkid around one under the light of the full moon; 

2.      Granola makes me gassy;

3.      If you ever catch me in Birkenstocks, you need to look over my shoulder for the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because they are right behind me—and the same thing goes if you ever hear me singing any Peter, Paul & Mary or Simon & Garfunkel; 

4.      Although I am very picky about meat, I do eat it and I love a good steak; 

5.      I am a good little Christian and not a member of the First Coven of the Wiccans or Americans Against God or whatever cult is popular with the finger pointers today; 

6.      I think that recycling is a fantastic and necessary endeavor and I practice it, but I absolutely and unequivocally draw the line at diapers.  I used and use environmentally unfriendly Pampers on my Baby Belles and anyone who disagrees with me can come over to my house and do my laundry 24/7;

7.      Yay breast feeding.  Woo hoo.  Rah, rah breast feeding.  It is a personal choice for every woman and it most certainly doesn’t mean that a mother loves her child any less because she can’t or won’t.  As far as I’m concerned, the bar is closed once little precious starts cutting teeth.  I furthermore feel that anyone uninvited and unfamiliar with a situation is terminally ignorant if they chose to condemn a woman for not whipping out her boobs in public.

8.      I actually don’t really know how I feel about guns, but they aren’t going anywhere anytime soon—so not teaching children about respect and avoidance of guns is akin to burying one’s head in the sand and definitely isn’t worth the potential tragedy; 

9.      I thought that Obama was a snake oil salesman during the 2008 Presidential Campaign and I haven’t seen a thing since to cause me to change my opinion;  and

10.  I drive one of the least energy efficient cars in existence and I drive it like I stole it.

I will admit that I am fast becoming disillusioned with the whole politics thing.  Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, Monarchists, Martians—whatever—the system is broken and I’m afraid that it’s fatal.  I don’t think that anyone—no matter their ideology—can stop the Titanic.  In fact, I believe that if we took a candidate who was genuine, hard working and had real foresight (I know that’s a stretch, but stay with me here) and sent them to Washington, they would either be:  (A) Eaten alive;  or (B) converted to the cult of selfishness and short term solutions within a month. 

I know, I know—I’m sitting here bitching and moaning without offering any practical alternative solutions...but isn’t lack of follow through one of the things that Democrats are notorious for? ;-)

No comments:

Post a Comment