Well, boys and belles, after Ashley's Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad Words of Comfort posted yesterday, I was called and reminded of this little nugget:
9. To the young lady sobbing in my office, convinced that her husband was having an affair: Honey, take a step back here and look at your situation for a second. You're hot. He's not. You're really hot. He's really not. I know, I know--you say that he looks much better since he shaved off his moustache, but let me put it to you this way: You can shave a gorilla's ass, but it's still ugly.